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happy easter and passover to everyone. pray for peace.
current mood: psyched. its nice out.
current music: morgan heritage
i'm like so spaced out.. i wonder if its the dehydration or my infatuation.
current mood: joel t. spacey
current music: bushman- cannabis
you: but the songs are some of Martin Gore's best
me: im going to listen to that now and drift off. be god.
me: and good
you: yes, I will be god.
good, god. good god. its good friday... walk it off...
can i write? can i spell? can i type? or will i .. either way it's past the point that i think i should switch to auto pilot and cruise into dreamland.. ralph wiggum (aka me and allen key) rocked the fucking shit outta oxygen tonight .. and it was fucking grand. . although i showed up at 10:30 after playing guitar with killit™ for 3 hours (and i have the rough fingers to prove it) i had to switch (within 2 hours) into 'dance' mode and ralph wiggum totally fuckin' kicked ass. redboy totally hooked it up and all incognito-like, recorded our set.. which i don't mind at all cause that means i didn't fuck up... ya see.. when i am blatantly recording a set for posterity's sake i always seem to fuck up- and the problem is the lack of an audience.. so anyway, what i'm shootin' to say is that i have a recording to prove that i'm into the house house house thing.. although i'm a drum n bass dj.. whateva.. it's good either way. i like it all. and tall. and within and without - you don't know what i'm about- and its cool.. and, fool, i delivah, and sim simmah, do you got the keys to my bimmah?
anyway, its 3:43 in the anti-meridian (as usual) and i'm gulping water down like i'm sponsored by poland spring or some shit.. i got alot of things done today.. its all disconnected- waking up.. tea.. shower. designing forever.. smoking.. eating.. going to rehearsal for 3 hours... and then djing for 2.. by the way- killit™ completely fucking kicks ass. just letting you know right now. in case there's a "behind the drugs" episode someday that says "yeah.. i came up with that lick one night when we were..." and you can fill in the blanks.. but it's gotta have something to do with dank. i'm hungry.. like riverbottom nightmare band hungry.. and i'll be postin' the set from tonight shortly.. like as soon as redboy sends it to me (hurry up- i have an audience... somewhat).. why are you reading this? its time to rock.
everyone knows when the clock strikes 4, it's time to rock n roll..
current mood: pleased
current music: hakan libdo- lovesky "come back to me" remix
boo! <3 pic of me doing my thing:
i mixed vitamin water and vodka together... and it exploded.
current mood: woah woah woah
current music: something corporate- if u c jordan
it's a second before 4:20.. and its all part of the thought process... listening to music for airports over and over again.. drifting off to sleep.. soon..
staying awake late.. thinking about anarchy as usual.. its supposed to be lovely for the next few days.. anything above 45º is shorts weather, in my opinion. so i've finished all my work for the week- i have some personal things to take care of project wise, but i'm going to spend a little time cruising around on my skateboard.. and some time playing some records.. that's the plan.. and then end the day with some early spring margaritas.. maybe not. who knows. its anyone's guess. i'm fatigued.. looking forward to waking up to a sunny day and taking it at my own pace. its 2:50 am and my brain is still darting around.. looking for things to do.. i've finished my work, played the guitar (and even messed around with the studio a little- i'm still learning), started on some designs, finished some others, and now i'm thinking about anarchy.. and other things.. always other things. but mostly about being radical. maybe its time to lie down and look out the window at the rain coming down.. whats your view like?
where are you what are you doing whats going on are you alright
current mood: yawn...
current music: jill scott
current mood: sunny
current music: sensefield
new look for this page.. i like this photograph i took out of a cab window on the way from laguardia to band rehearsal last thursday.. i didn't really give it much thought at the time, but now i do think it's kinda strange someone named joel made a billboard to remind other joels to live their lives for themselves. i agree.. so i am using this photograph as a reminder. even if you're not a joel, i think the sentiment is correct. life, but how to live it? all for love, and never enough. .i've got a lot of creative energy i need to act on. so its a good time to get to know me.
current mood: happy/stoned
current music: dubtribe- soundsystem "hold your head up high"
doing a search for the weather.. is it nice today? i wonder.. i'm probably still sleeping. it's 1:45 am and i have cottonmouth. where's my water.. i had a productive weekend. oakiedog's been chatting it up a bit- so we'll have some more of that nonsense up shortly.. and i'll be recording some dj sets real soon- from my appearance at mars 2 on april 13th and some other bedroom bedlam kinda shit.. i played with nick on friday night and got way fucking drunk.. too many scotches.. neat.. i had no idea what the hell was going on.. apparently i was a little over exuberant and shouted a bit. but whatever.. whiskey makes me crazy. i went to rehydrate myself when i blinked into the saturday morning sunshine and realized how quickly it snuck up on me.. i went to take a sip of water and ended up pouring water all over my face and the pillow. it was really cute. so i stumbled into the kitchen, had a couple motrin and like 4 more glasses of water and went back to sleep till a reasonable hour- like noonish. then i had rehearsal in the afternoon, which was very productive. we managed to get through a couple new tunes, one of which is a tribute to our bestest friend mike that passed in january. nick and i wrote the basis for the tune when we landed in new mexico and found out the news.. we managed to hook up a sack immediately and sat with maria and jason and a couple other friends in an attic- talking and strumming a bass and nailing down this moody bassline.. then it just opens up all big as shit. its really rocking and a fitting tune, hope after darkness, or dimness rather. it hasn't been dark, just a little hazy. so anyway- we're moving along on schedule with this band shit. i'm happy.
shit man, the weather's gonna be 41 and raining? wtf? the forecast changes every day/hour/minute it seems, so i don't believe shit till i get up and stick my hand out the window. i was promised sunshine through tuesday yesterday. this is bullshit. anyway. its not like i have to go anywhere. but it does damper my mood a tad. i'm so looking forward to the summer. i wouldn't mind so much if it were warm summer rain.
phantom joel. what the fuck are you talking about now. anyway. its sunday night.. i have been up doing work on the imaging of our new house label, warmth.. logo, website etc.. check it out- the link's at the bottom..
yeah yeah.. so, what's the plan for this week? i hope i'm not too busy.. i have been into playing guitar late at night and spacing out. i think i'm going to start recording all this shit- cause they're really spacey and beautiful tunes that i could actually do something with.. but for now, they're satisfying for me to play over and over and add bits to.. continuing project.
so take your time ...
i wonder which cup you drink from i hope it's mine.
current mood: slideawaywithme
current music: verve- storm in heaven
theres a picture of me standing in the middle of the chesapeake bay.. on a sandbar obviously – my son of god tricks haven't worked in a few .. i can't believe its snowing. well, i can believe it. i just don't want it to be snowing. i want it to be summer. i want the orange to last forever along the horizon and smoke joints on the pier, our legs dangling beneath us.. and sipping beers on the beach – feeling the moonlight praying down on us and reflecting its light off the waves. i'm thinking about all this. 'cause i like driving cars barefoot... and letting my hair get hit with the breeze off the sea as i speed down back roads in the middle of the night.
current mood: thoughtful
current music: nelly- must be the money
this is for you this is about you this is for you
this is about you this is for you this is for you..
current mood: sleepy
current music: zzzzzz
They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom
for trying to change the system from within.
I'm coming now
I'm coming to reward them.
First we take Manhattan then we take Berlin
. -- Leonard Cohen
i stuck to the program.. it works. don't bring a laptop on vacation. instead have young ladies sit in your lap. its much more relaxing. i hope you had a happy st. patricks day and so forth.. the only green i had was the crap i spent the weekend coughing up.. the weather changes were so severe and the pot so plentiful that i got bronchitis the first night i was fuckin' there.. i wasn't feeling well to begin with, but i pushed through it and i'm feeling pretty good right now.. spent the weekend with the best person in the whole world and had an excellent and thoroughly fulfilling experience.. and i saw some bands, had some beers and rolled a shitload of joints.. conversation has been abundant lately, and i feel real love in my heart again. its been a hard few months, being fucked over emotionally and wondering why my spirituality is suffering.. and all it takes is great company to realize that this shit is so temporary and life's too short for shyness.
i have been wondering what i would write when i actually made it back to my computer.. i spent the last 2 hours literally deleting shit mail wondering how the fuck i get on all these shitty dance music lists? take me off, ok? i need to switch my email address to something else and shut this one off.. i get too much bullshit. i'll make up some alias that i can just get a fresh start with.. yeah.. that'll work for about a week. i came from the airport, missing va already and went directly to rehearsal. man, we fuckin rock. thats it on that one.
i can't wait. thats the truth. this summer is going to kick ass. skating, surfing, kissing and puffing.. and my hair is getting better and better every day.. check out the new photos.. i'm going to have fun.. its already started. this trend will continue through you, and pass it on. have the same attitude and we can fly side by side .. together. all around this bitch.
current mood: pretty happy, whistful
current music: lifetime- jersey's best dancers
on the personal or emotional front, the sooner you realize that you are being given precisely what you are asking for, the better.... ok. good. fucking a. i'm off to va beach to relax. have a lovely weekend.
current mood: stuffy and tired
current music: new ming+fs "subway series" advance (it rocks)
i just wired the ethernet cables through the house.. got the g3 and g4 online now.. werd.. now the webcam can be in full effect and we can broadcast some dj sets from here as well finally.. my lovely friend kristen said i have so much technology up in this shit you could land a space shuttle from my fucking house! so... we're landing the next one.
current mood: life after cable modem=good
current music: travis- the invisible band
If you don't know what you want, nobody else will be able to figure it out. its gorgeous outside.. like almost 70º and a perfect day to think about starting new. what was left in 2001 is left in 2001, right? i'm holding out- not getting an answer. i'm finding out that cheating gets it faster. what an absolutely beautiful lie.. what is it about you and me? what a beautiful day to think about living honestly...
i'm the best you ever could've had.
current mood: sunny outside and in.
current music: jimmy eat world- bleed american
i don't care what you do, i'm getting out. nothing ever shames me. don't want a thing from you i'm going out - i don't care if you're angry.. i want to do right by you. i'm finding out that cheating gets it faster.
i just glanced over at my phone and the little red light that indicates theres voicemail is on. how'd i miss that? who could it be? i spent the last 2 hours organizing all my clothes from fall winter to spring/summer.. it was a rather easy transition and i have have drawer space to spare.. until i pick up my laundry tomorrow.. i packed to go to virginia this weekend as well.. meeting up with my pop tomorrow night and jason and we're going to get some indian at nirvana (the place on the 15th floor on central park) .. should be great considering its been awhile since we've had the jordan men assembled at one table.. it'll be hilarious of course. then my dad and i are meeting at laguardia on friday to make our 6:50 flight to virginia.. ma's picking us up at the airport in va.. its a family affair. looking forward to being at the jordan compound.. its super relaxing if you don't rock the boat, and stay out of the way of the usual scheduled things around there (stick with the program).. frictionless. i'm looking forward to lying in my hammock and sitting in the hot tub and of course cruising around in my mom's new mercedes (which she doesn't like to drive, and it has a great soundsystem.. so wtf?) anyway. its going to be fun.. neither jason nor my sister is going to be down there so i'll be babied the shit out of. i hope the weather is on my side.. i want to take a ferry ride to kitty hawk and drive through north carolina a bit.. and check out the waves. i'm going to buy a new hybrid surf board (halfway between a long board and a short/stunt board).. something i can float on and catch some nice tidy little waves this summer. i found a super cheap airline that goes between va and laguardia, so i'm going to be down there as much as possible this summer- its gorgeous .. and i love sipping lemonade or margaritas on the screened in porch and feeling the hot humid air crossed with gentle breezes off linkhorn bay.. and the moonlight. i'm looking forward to this shit, for real. so.. my house is totally coming together the way i envisioned it.. my friend came over tonight and switched out my awful lighting fixture in my kitchen for a lovely halogen dimming number with 3 beams.. its super tight.. and he put wire halogen lighting down my hallway so now i have an excuse to frame some of my photographs and hang them along the bare walls.. everything's looking good. i got the cable modem today, and i'm running ethernet cable tomorrow into my bedroom for this g4 and into the studio for the g3. we have phone lines and computers all over this bitch. yeah.. so its 1:23 and someone's iming me.. brb.. oh.. a whole minute passed.. ok. so i have alot to do today (thursday).. getting some storage space to clear out the rest of my house and streamline everything so its super nice and tidy in here and then moving some stuff in there, getting a usb/scsi converter to hook up my good old scanner finally, some ethernet cable, and then if patt's feeling better we're actually going to rehearse.. we recorded one tune finally. its really pretty damn good. i'm happy with it. so watch out for killit™ coming to your town, since we're going to be huge from one tune we recorded in our rehearsal space.. no.. for real. thats how the business works right? directly to arenas? captain hook vs. count rockula. i'm in a silly mood. apparently.. i got all wound up realizing that this place is looking fucking sweet. now i'm going to frame some prints and get to hoin' .. i want my house to be a pants dropper.. and i just need some more knick-knacks, do-dads, and what-nots.. some cozy shit. and a runner for my hallway. so it'll be all super beautiful and loungey in here this summer.. ac kickin' .. the mini bar is working really well, btw.. its stocked and full thanks to my friend roree and i've been sampling a little of everything different nights.. hopefully i won't get all into alcohol now. i'm doing fine. can't wait to hit the beach. then come back and work my tail off for the rest of the spring. are you all in bed?
current mood: silly sleepy sloppy
current music: sade- lovers rock
its raining outside. nothing left to do but smile.
current mood: >_<
current music: zero 7
i'm leaving it all far behind me and never bringing it back home again. sunshine from here on out.
current mood: grey in between
current music: the eventide
i'm going where my whole doesn't feel so empty.
today was the 6th month anniversary of the horror show in september. nick and i had a pretty productive day and decided to head up to his roof at twilight to watch the illumination of the temporary memorial some artists and lighting designers came up with to fill the void .. making halos in the sky.. i took some photos, here's a couple.. nick on his roof, and then the beam.. which is visible from a 20 mile radius. its actually very strange looking.. it was neat how slowly it lit up - crawling and reaching towards the overcast canopy over new york city.. and we watched from 3 miles away, 7 floors above, with a packed bowl and a bottle of jack daniels to warm up.. it was really cold up there and we stood there for a good 20 minutes before packing it up and hitting inside.. i then went to jasons house and banged out a design for a client in tokyo and then came home just now.. managed to find my pajamas that had been mixed in with jasons laundry somehow and can report that i'm comfortably wearing them and will be climbing into bed shortly with my lovely clean sheets, which has to be one of life's divine pleasures. things are starting to pick up.. it seems summer's iminent. such a short winter, but i'm not complaining.. i think my days in new york are numbered.
current mood: electric
current music: brian eno- music for airports
i need a light head for such a heavy heart.
ok.. its like this.. the south sun is literally pouring through my windows, across my keyboard and onto my lap.. warming me and the gentle breeze is bringing the smell of dirt and renewal into my already airy bedroom. i'm listening to travis and sensefield again for the 3rd time since i've woken.. which was around 11:30.. not bad considering i was up till like 3:30 doing shots of tequila and smoking bowls.. its definitely time to put a windbreaker on and stomp through the botanical gardens for a little while. that seems like whats in order. ok.. just had to switch it up.. bleed american's in there now.. getting a little more wound up for the last 5 hours of sunlight. its like almost 2.. where the hell did the day go? i'm starving. someone email me pancakes. so, this walk should do me good.. then meeting my brother in the city to go record shopping for a couple hours. he knows what i like, so i figure two sets of ears listening for what i'm into will make the process go much more quickly.. i haven't bought drum n bass records in a while, since i get alot of promos and what not, but i need to get some more chilled out atmospheric stuff and on the other end of the spectrum i need to fatten up my techy collection.. but enough about that. going to check out a band, breaking pangea, that's been buzzing a bit at 8pm then heading back into brooklyn to dj all night at the local lounge, bar 4 for my friend karyn's birthday. that should be fun... tomorrow isn't going to be as nice, so maybe i'll dive into a glass tonight a bit deeper. in the meantime, i need to wash up, get dressed and get out. i mean, the door's halfway open.
current mood: hungry
current music: jimmy eat world- bleed american
In the end, what will be will be. . stating my position won't make a difference at this point, since i'm the only one to make it happen, and envision the future.. things are great.. its lovely outside, have a great record spinning, and i'm rocking away at this design .. was reminded by mike's wife, maria, that the first night i met her with him i said out of the clear blue "you guys are going to get married and have a baby.." and she thought i was a nutter.. and things fell into place. strange stuff. i don't know why i said that, but apparently i was right. maria and her daughter ella are coming out to visit at the beginning of april and we're all very excited to see them and lavish them with the affection we've been desiring to give since we last saw them in new mexico in january. we're having a mass said for mike on april 7th here in park slope, so we're trying to get all his friends out for it and then having mimosas and bloody marys at our local lounge, bar 4.. opening it up on sunday just for us to get loud and play music mike produced, wrote and loved.. should be an emotional day but i'm so looking forward to the catharsis. my plans for the weekend- get on with it. i have too much to do... and its all fun stuff, so i have to prioritize. oh yeah. and a botanical garden visit tomorrow for sure.. walking in the sunshine.
current mood: friday .. where'd the week go
current music: tennis- 7" advance
you made an impression- i sometimes still feel the bruise... its gorgeous outside today.. i'm in shorts, a golf shirt and some sandals.. am i ahead of myself here? its only march 7th.. i hope this trend continues. this saturday its supposed to be in the high 60's and i'll be out playing frisbee in the park for sure! i went to school in syracuse for a while and my mother's family is from upstate new york, so i've spent the better half of my life standing waist-deep in snow or the freezing cold.. anything above 45º is shorts weather in my opinion! i'll put some jeans on before i get outside.. casual is the look this summer. i don't give a shit- i'm growing my hair long, wearing track suits and smoking a lot of pot. this is the plan... and maybe get an intramural badminton league together.. anyone interested in signing up or for some zim-zam™ games this summer give me a hollar via email. i'm going to grab that lovely dangerous game when i'm down at my folks house this wednesday-tuesday.. virginia beach for st. patricks day.. should be interesting and the weather is bound to be more suitable to my tastes. so yeah, zim-zam™ this summer- are you in or what? its just tennis tetherball. and its fun.. yeah.. so big up to kieran for finally pulling a solid a getting me another gig in new mexico.. date to be confirmed, but i love visiting there, and i love djing there- the scene is still very genuine and the kids are very sincere. which is the reason i stopped producing/attending parties.. no love in it anymore.. but new mexico is something special- dancing in the middle of the desert under an open sky under millions of stars and surrounded by just a few other hundred kids and some wicked lights, visuals and speakers.. thats organic. nothing huge and intimidating about it at all. so, that is some good news to pick me up.. playing this mega rave on april 13th in syracuse new york at the action sports arena if anyone's up there.. its mars 2: syracuse electronic music festival ;) - so if you wanna rave with 4000 other kids then join me, cause i am playing 4-5 in the morning right after the headliner in the drum n bass room- so i can use the love, ok? umm. what else.. i gotta get outside- my head is starting to swim with excitement over the measly 61º it is- but i do hope spring has sprung early. the groundhog saw his shadow i thought? 6 more weeks of winter? apparently not.. maybe i'm wrong. either way the groundhog doesn't know shit. and its perfect skateboarding weather, so i'm going to go buy some wrist guards (i always seem to fuck them up when i skate.. ) and they're valuable to my career as a designer and guitarist and dj and whatever else i use them for.. well, everything. my wrists are vital. and what i've just written is utter crap and a rant that didn't really have anything important to say, but at least i haven't just written any lyrics..
i don't know how to make you happy..
current mood: wave
current music: sunny day real estate- diary
click here for more info on mars 2 on april 13th 2002 in syracuse ny
don't be flattered, just be home. don't be flattered, just be home.
day is longer than night now... i hear spring footsteps..(japanese expression).. haru no ayumi o kiku i think.. anyway, its been so cold i have been chilled down past my underwear and it hasn't been feeling good.. crawling into bed, wondering why my pajamas are 12 blocks away in my brother's chest of drawers and wondering why i have such a huge bed for me.. well, i would explain why i have such a big house at the same time with no roommates.. but thats just great for my obsessive cleanliness and tidyness. its going to be 60º for the next 3 days.. i'm going to go skate every day and get back in the swing of things with a springtime flavor.. although its 15 days till the shift into springtime, i'm anxiously waiting the warmer weather to open my eyes and my senses to the wonders of the world.. this has hardly been a harsh winter, but my seratonin definitely drops below the red during the winter and i do alot of stupid shit out of desparation.. but anyway, i'm looking forward to a renewing springtime. hope springs eternal in this kids heart. i know i haven't written alot but some lyrics that have been striking me lately- but this is my space- go post on my guestbook/message board your thoughts, poetry, whatever. thats what its there for. i'm looking outside and it's looking lovely. i don't know why i'm so spaced out.. it feels like i've just woken up and i've been up for hours.. hmm.. only 20 minutes till kids in the hall. i love working from home. i am such a creature of habit.. so.. i better get back to whatever i was doing before i logged into this thing and started typing.. i'm going to pick up my digital cable modem today and forget this dial up shit ever existed. brooklyn's the last place on earth to upgrade anything. so i have to take advantage while i can- like they're going to change their mind and rip up all the optical cable. haha. well, thats my story for today. rock on. xo joelt
current mood: hazy, crazy, grey
current music: slowdive- just for a day
just think of us together whenever you're down..
do you count down the days like i count down the nights?
you know that i wait and i wait and i wait
i hope and i pray that you're ok
The ghost of an unkissed kiss, a field of snow without footprints- it'll always be perfect, but we didn't get to live it. the lights that shone for us across the water through the misty dusk - it'll always be perfect, but we didn't get to live it. these lonely places were touched by love- dust for the traces and they'll show up. these are the words we'll pack away; these are the feelings that will stay.
dry eyes- it was never going to end with dry eyes.
we'll never know what we let go.
how do you push aside something that just feels so right? it'll always be perfect, but we didn't get to live it. we found what so many seek but it was never ours to keep - it'll always be perfect, but we didn't get to live it. i know how unfair i've been on her, that i could have made it easier- but i wanted her so bad, you see, i just wouldn't stop at anything. wrong as it was to do, those eyes were made to look into- it'll always be perfect, but we didin't get to live it. so i would just do wrong until the ache became too strong - it'll always be perfect, but we didn't get to live it.
dry eyes - it was never going to end with dry eyes.
we'll never know what we let go.
current mood: moody
current music: trembling blue stars- the ghost of an unkissed kiss
baby you've been going so crazy. lately, nothing seems to be going right. solo, why do you have to get so low. you're so... you've been waiting in the sun too long. but if you sing sing sing sing. for the love bring won't mean a thing. unless you sing sing sing. colder, crying on your shoulder. hold her, and tell her everything's gonna be fine. surely, you've been going too early. hurry, cause noone's gonna be stopped. but if you sing sing sing sing. for the love you bring won't mean a thing unless you sing sing sing. baby, there's something going on today but i say nothing, nothing...
being contemplative today and listening to travis.. its sunny outside, but cold.. like a lie you want to believe. i've been a marathon design whirlwind for the last few days, sleeping very little, feeling colder and older and hoping the spring will come soon. i am going to spend more time down south this summer, and rock extra hard with my band to make it all count. today i'm taking it slowly.. one step at a time. i've been under deadlines for the past few days, and with that off my back i can move ahead with my cute little life. i haven't even had time to correspond with my favorite people or even write in here as much as i've wanted to. i don't know.. its march 1st. lets go in like a lion and come out like a lamb. happy weekend, happy march, happy day. love xojoelt
current mood: i need a bath
current music: travis- the invisible band
