|
oh pretty girl, i never wanted to lose you.
pretty girl, i pray for a miracle to sooth you...
my horoscope.. aquarians have all the drama.
Give yourself some credit and try to appreciate what you have accomplished thus far. There may be miles to go before you feel secure enough to rest. Notwithstanding your impatience, certain things take their own sweet time - especially those that relate to personal happiness and contentment. Your task: Adjust your schedule accordingly. (**)
this is funny, because its completely applicable to every single one of my situations right now. i know i'm going to be far ahead from here someday, and happy, as usual... and reflecting, i know that everything i've already achieved has been because of persitance and patience (even though i want it all right now)- i feel that what i have in life right now i wouldn't have known what to do with a few years ago. and the learning process isn't something i have been able to observe as an outsider, its just a progression throughout the years. i am happy.. its sunny and warmer outside. summer loving's coming.
beautiful boy, carry the weight of the world. beautiful girl, nothing's the same as before.
current mood: i never ever want it to end
current music: sensefield- tonight and forever.
i had a nice weekend.. long, but nice.. and here it is, monday, sunny and i'm getting started with my day.. watching kids in the hall and sipping some tea.. i have alot of actual design to do this week, so i can sit around and think about it for a while before i actually get to it, besides, last night i spent about 6 hours on part of this mega design thats due by thursday.. i'll get it done.. its for a party (part 2 of it) that was 6 years ago, and was quite possibly one of the best rave flyers on the east coast and one of the best ones i ever did.. personally, i try not to design in that scene anymore since its crazy unreliable, but once in a while i like to take on the jobs that have nostalgia involved, or immediate payment (which is just as good!) ahaha. anyway.. thursday night was fun, dj'd at infrared lounge, then friday i slept late and got a bit done and then went to our new party at open air, deprogrammé.. it was packed from 10-4.. crazy.. i guess we did a good job promoting.. our buddy michael lovesky came up from north carolina and graced on the decks with some smooth house and funky stuff [alot of it his own records since he's a big shot producer type ;) ] anyway.. that was excellent, i felt like crap on sunday, of course.. but managed to make it out of the house, watched the sunset on the brooklyn promenade and had dinner in brooklyn heights.. it was excellent.. wait, that was yesterday.. saturday i spent in front of the television with a friend- nothing crazy. but yes, sunday was excellent.. also had time to check out the russian cultural fair that was around the corner in prospect park. that was interesting, a buncha little kids in classical russian garb and somewhat sketchy booths set up around the perimeter selling everything from food to "pre paid attorney protection" i guess for those that get arrested alot.. i wonder what types of people those are? hmmm.. anyway, starting new today with a spring time attitude and an allergy attack to match.. intense. i'm sneezing and moving on. so, with that said, i'm going to get back to my television, watch this hour of kids in the hall and not think about how much people affect me.. i used to be a little more unaffected.. and now i'm steering that way again. its the only way i know i'm not feeling like i'm being taken advantage of. so keep it honest, and there's no telling how far you can go.
current mood: taking it all back
current music: gorilla biscuits- start today
yesterday you were on my back just to get my time
i'm not as important as it seems
cause i found the time for hanging out-
talking on the phone
what should i expect?
now my time is free and you're nowhere to be found?
next time i'll try
for the first time in my life
won't pass me by
proscratinate it can wait
i've put it off
let's start today
my room's a mess and i can't get dressed
gotta be out by 8 o'clock
deep inside i know the answer
well there's no time like the present
and i like to hang out, but who doesn't?
made enough mistakes in this lifetime
now i'm here to make ammends
next time i'll try
for the first time in my life
won't pass me by
proscratinate it can wait
i've put it off
let's start today
start
man.. i just typed a book in this thing and of course it crashed.. i have to figure out how to hook up a usb-punching bag to my computer to make noises when i punch it from the computer doing stupid things... like losing an entire nights worth of reflections.. whatever.. i'm sure i'll get drunk again tonight and write down everything that happened in the past 2 days.. but now i have to go get ready to dj tonight.. i'm picking out my outfit- the sparkle jumpsuit will do.. yeah. then i can rock the party. i'll wear my 'don't sweat the dj' shirt maybe.. its a toss up. haha. i crack myself up.. friday afternoon.. half an hour till the simpsons. greetings.
current mood: angst over the last failed post
current music: ashes- flood
high.. so high.. i can't reach to you with my step-stool eyes..
i had a long day to say the least.. i woke up on jasons comfortable couch- i guess i fell asleep there last night.. damn the dank and digital television! anyway.. woke up, stretched, dipped my toe in the jacuzzi, baby and got cleaned up.. puffed out, had some breathe easy tea and went down to a framing store to get one of jason's funny artsy prints framed.. 265 bucks, can you fucking believe that? anyway, its a big print and they're going to do a nice job.. and the guy "remembered" me.. must've remembered jason, since i was posing as him.. then i scurried down to my crib to have a meeting with two super nice guys that are producers that i'm interesting in working with.. nick came down, we listened to some new tunes, puffed out again and then they split after an hour or two of shooting the shit and talking music.. then we jumped on a train, nick went to jasons office and i went to the west village to my massage therapist's house to get a full on rubdown.. i needed it badly.. i have this sixth sense of when the simpsons are on, so when i started twitching 'round 7pm she kindly put it on.. i spoke the whole episode verbatim.. it was the one when ralph and bart go on a play date and ralph is playing wigglepuppy- the puppy that can fly by wagging his tail.. man that dog's had some adventures.. so i was relaxed by the time i met up with this lovely young lady for some vietnamese food and chit chat.. haven't seen my friend in a long time so it was nice to catch up with her.. then we walked through the lower east side in the mist to luna lounge to see this band that nick and i are in the middle of signing to our long running emo/indie/hardcore label, watermark.. 10 years in business as of this month.. we are what emo is, by the way.. and this emo out of nowhere blow up is funny as shit.. i guess rain still falls was 6 years ahead of its time.. haha.. so, back to my story.. tennis rocked the house, we had a good time.. lotsa friends all around, then got back to the slope around 2 and went to bar 4 to meet karyn and nick (and supposedly the rest of tennis) .. about an hour later greg, the singer/guitarist showed up and i was already a couple drinks in by then.. we did some shots, had a couple more drinks and i just got home a little while ago.. funny thing is, i never know when i'm drunk unless i'm falling down or nauseous, so i reckon i'm slightly tipsy right now, cause i'm holding it together.. it's almost 4:20.. ok.. run down of what i had to drink tonight.. 2 hot sake's at dinner (w/ my friend), one, then another, then another red stripe at the club, then to bar 4.. then i had 2 stella artoise, a shot of something sweet (karyn knew what it was, but i didnt) then a vodka and 7up.. i should be puking, right? but i also had like 6 pints of water all along as well.. don't forget to hydrate! otherwise you'll be waking up like a cottonball! anyway, i'm puffing tuff since its almost 4:20 and typing this rather well for a somewhat drunk kid (i just decided) .. i'm sitting in sweatpants and grinning with my water beside me.. i have some of my new kafka book 'the castle' to get through..tomorrow i'm beginning to start my japanese studies again.. well, maybe friday.. yeah, friday.. i don't have plans that day.. i just have a big meeting tomorrow.. really big.. then band rehearsal from 7-10, then djing from 11-1 at this place on rivington, infrared lounge.. then our new party, deprogrammé begins friday night.. and then a party on saturday night. i'm going to be in good shape by sunday, when you're peeling me off the floor and propping me up in front of homer.. anyway, i'm listening to sade again.. i'm crying everyone's tears..
current mood: i'll have an advil, and i'm thoughtful
current music: sade- lovers rock
p.s. i think about it often
this shit isn't "dead on" but its pretty interesting.
current mood: i don't know
current music: edie brickell and new bohemians- circle
apparently all i needed last night was to drip some tears on my adidas and relinquish some anxiety i've been knee deep in. i'm going on a vacation as soon as possible.. i know, i just got back from europe, but that was hardly a vacation. . freezing cold, bidness and pleasure don't mix well.. i just need to hit puerto rico for a couple days and sit on the beach looking at the water. that's where i was this time 2 years ago, and i think it suits me fine. i want to move somewhere i can just surf everyday, play some golf once in a while, and have a beach house.. san diego sounds like the move.. i mean, tj (tijuana) is right there. . l.a. is far enough away and not tempting at all, and its ideal weather.. what about california falling into the sea? sink with california? i'm going to call my realtor.. ok.
current mood: soon. come. happy.
current music: trembling blue stars
i'm so upset right now its retarded.. i can't stop being shakey and mournful.. i'm a sorry case.. i wrote that like 10 minutes ago and i just wrote a letter to mike.. and its almost 5am.. i'm just thinking.. i had a good night, i just had a bit of time to reflect and to find myself in sadness a bit.. and trying to still work through the loss of one of the craziest bestest cats ever, michael klein.. the guy.. not a day goes by that i don't think about him.. it seems every time i visit the whiskey he visits me.. and i think it'll be that way until i next see him on the greener side.. until then, i miss you i love you i'll see you in the blink of an eye
current mood: pensive, sleepy, teary
current music: jill scott
i've been listening the shit out of lovers rock by sade lately and going to sleep earlier and earlier nightly.. and having less general anxiety.. i think i need to stay in bed most of the time, since its my natural element.. i'm making my house nice today- well, look tidy and getting organized in my recording studio/music room in the next bedroom, which is a fucking mess becoming just a mess as the moments tick by.. listening to lifetime's first album on new age from back in 91.. reminds me of living in cherry hill new jersey and thinking hardcore was the center of the universe.. and i just found a trunk full of my old tshirts.. collectable to some these days.. maybe ebay will actually start pulling its own weight? i'll gladly get rid of old pieces of cotton, but not my vinyl.. my seven inch collection is to die for. you'd have affection for my record collection.. i don't know how many times i can actually say it. so, with that in mind i'm going to go dive into this fucking room full of shit and try and part with different items.. then pack everything else into these amazingly huge plastic tubs i got to seal from moisture and stick all this crap in my brother's scary basement (ala nigthmare on 6th street).. near the furnace! haha. going bowling tonight, i believe.. also just bought a new pair of gravis.. i should buy stock in that company- they make the nicest shit, from clothing to suitcases and all stops in between.. and its not been snagged by the hip hop community yet. lets hope that doesn't happen.. anyway, my new shoes look like wallabies (clarks) but have a sneaker bottom.. so i can hop skip and jump in them.. and still rock the shoegazer shit. back to work! its almost dark.
current mood: yes, cuban bee!
current music: latin jazz masters
AQUARIUS:
>>Friday, February 15
Dare to be different, and take a few risks, as you try to interest the world in general - or one specific person - in your program. The more openhearted and open-minded you can be about your hopes, goals and aspirations, the greater the likelihood of creating some simply marvelous opportunities for yourself. (**)
geez! finally. the stars on my side for being a fucking show-off.. please, take notice of this bird.. i've been puffing out my feathers for what seems like forever and my mind and heart are so open they're getting cold from the chill of the winter air. in my program? are you reading my line numbers? this is open-source loving apparently.. share the code. and why is openhearted not hyphenated? such are the questions on my mind as i bang out trance flyers on a friday morning.. my mind trails off like the smoke floating around my monitor.. i can see the northern lights
current mood: spacey
current music: lifetime- background
I am in the wilderness
you are in the music
in the man's car next to me
Somewhere in my sadness
I know I won't fall apart completely
When I need to be rescued
and I need a place to swim
I have a rock to cling to in the storm
when no one can hear me calling
I have you I can sing to
and in all this
and in all my life
you are the lovers rock
the rock that I cling to
you're the one
the one I swim to in a storm
like a lovers rock
when I need to be rescued
you're there
when I need a place to swim to in the storm
I think of you
and in all my life...
"Lovers Rock" -Sade
so i'm pretty psyched with my day so far.. my life is pretty cool, i think.. i'm sitting cross legged on my brothers floor watching mtv2.. the only time they play decent stuff i might be half interested in is during the day.. this band starsailor certainly has paid attention to every single verve record, but namely no come down the b side collection.. they've got the sound nailed. and i can't help but think of them as a tribute band, but enjoyable to listen to- my kinda shit i mean. waiting for the usual round of thursday, jimmy eat world, rival schools, and whatever else half-assed video they can pull out from some new obscure emoish band. then i have a solid hour of kids in the hall and tea.. and then back to work. i have a flyer to design for this huge club in tokyo, the womb.. it was due yesterday, and they "forgot" to tell me.. apologies all around, so no big deal. i'm going to go bang it out in an hour right now. i am so glad i take a lot of photos - otherwise i'd be fucked for ideas! so, for now i bid you adieu and will type more latah! i gotta get sweet on this for a little while!
current mood: sanguine
current music: stairsalors- goodsouls
ok.. switched the front page. i'm done now. this is it.. enjoy. the graphics section will be up tomorrow and i'll have more than a few different choices of folders/selections under the photography section. and then thats it. this issue has taken long enough. read on down.. i've posted like 10 things today. going to bed now. muah. xo joelt!
ok.. i'm going to switch the front page- i'm not feeling it.. then we're done. happy chinese new year everyone.. i'm going to eat my lo mein and smoke this bowl. and then finish this shit up. its rare that i get a chance to work on my own projects, even if they're not anything super important.. i'd like to animate the front page to make it more exciting.. but whatever. this is just a fanzine for myself, right? ;) happy new year. lo mein here i come, you can't get away from me..
as you can tell i just spent 2 hours finishing what i could on this.. this is issue 07.. welcome to it. its going to get better someday, i swear.. adding the graphic design section right now, so currently its featuring photographs from the previous round. but everything else works- including my guestbook, so don't be shy- show me some love! the dj sets will be up there very soon. working on it. i really have to just record one.. maybe this weekend.. i don't have any plans ;)
current mood: yeah, i did some shit
current music: astrud gilberto
We walked the loneliest mile
We smile without any style
We kiss altogether wrong
No intention
We lie about each other's drinks
We live without each other thinking what anyone would do
Without me and you
It's like I told you
Only the lonely can play
So hold on here we go
Hold on to nothin' we know
I feel so lonely
Way up here
You mention the time we were together
so long ago well I don't remember
all I know is it makes me feel good now.
It's like I told you only the lonely can play
Only the lonely only the lonely can play
-"Only the Lonely" -the Motels
wow. i've left you and me hanging for 5 days now.. not like me! i didn't even know this shit wasn't working.. i was too busy partying!! also- heads up, the new site launches this week and is "bad as shit" . as you can probably guess i had a ridiculous 28th birthday weekend.. full of savagery and fury and 3 days of celebration. oxygen on thursday night was great- jason and i spun like 2.5 hours of anything and everything with a 4-4 beat behind it. had a really good time.. friday night spun at bar 4 and had too many drinks to count and woke up on saturday, my birthday, feeling like i had eaten a sandpaper sandwich .. i get so dehydrated too easily.. anyway, had some people over sat night for a small thing at my house and that was the highlight of the weekend. we partied to the break a break a dawn and blew it up .. spent sunday licking my wounds from the "3 days of carnival de jordan".. read my brother jason's site for some more details.. http://angularism.org.. he's got more spunk when it comes to writing these days. i'm just trying to get back to work after fucking around for a few days over my birthday. today is alot of my friends birthdays, including abraham lincoln (go lincoln, ridgemount high sucks!) .. jeff spickoli roll me another hey!
so its sunny outside today.. i have things i need to do.. i am not as resiliant as i used to be, after all i'm pushing the late 20's now. still feel like a shithead in my early 20's though. and my skin is still baby-like.. so i am not falling apart yet! the post office calls! i have presents to pick up!
current mood: get it back
current music: etienne de crecy- tempovision (pick it up its great!)
tomorrow is Bob Marley's birthday. then mine on sat.. can't wait. i wrote this HUGE post yesterday, about how great of a mood i was in- it was sunny i was listening to some great dub at jasons house sitting on the floor (dangling participle i know) and then when i went to send it here it just crashed.. then i wasn't in a good mood anymore and i couldn't type what i was feeling in again. i'm all better now.. i was so hung over all day long yesterday that i couldnt' bring myself to do a thing but sit around and puff tuff and watch spongebob. got to bed at like 11 and woke up at 7:30 as usual, then back to sleep when i saw the rain until noon.. 13 hours and i'm tired from sleeping now.. perma-sleepy-head i guess. so i have rehearsal tonight 7-10 then djing 11-1.. busy night. and tomorrow too. jeez. i always forget.. saturday will be fun, and chill.. want to come over? off to collect my laundry and enjoy the sunshine.. sorry not so brilliant, or bright today.. maybe i'll be affected by the sunlight a little.. who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ˇspongebob squarepants!
current mood: tired
current music: chet baker
i should, and probably could, write something brilliant.. but its 4:00am, i'm 4 cosmos in and i have alot of shit on my mind.. rehearsal was great - noone's outta the band yet.. haha. my watch just beeped.. i am going to lie down and right, perhaps, about my evening tomorrow.
current mood: eyes crossed
current music: handsome
Something's creeping up your way,
With cans of paint and things to say.
We wait until the dead of night,
Then nail everything in sight.
(Chorus)
We will attack in red and black,
Cover the buildings, the walls and the street.
We will attack in red and black,
Graveyard graffiti this whole fucking city.
Lots of kids, with nothing to do,
Important in the eyes of few.
A town with nothin' for the young
An so our crusade has begun.
- from 7 Seconds "The crew"
yeah, i feel like taggin' and braggin' today. instead i'm cleaning and organizing. sick of all these boxes fucking stacked up in my music room.. i'm consolidating and putting shit in storage.. yeah. i better get to it. its sunny outside here.. i'm digging the sunlight. have rehearsal tonight, looking forward to playing, although i woke up way too early today and i'm tired already! better get started.. you have a good day, and be well.
current mood: lets get to it
current music: fenix tx- lechuza
wow. i talked to oakiedog. for the first time since october, i have been able to record our conversation. it went like this:
Oakiedog: doggie deux
Earthprgrm: earthy will swarm, on any mutha fooka with hello kitty colourforms!
Earthprgrm: deux you .. you know.
if this is any inkling of whats to come, be excited! we're already off to a creative beginning. now, we need quantity.
i made it home. now the bed thing.
in·kling (ngklng)
n.
1. A slight hint or indication.
2. A slight understanding or vague idea or notion.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Probably alteration of Middle English (a) ningkiling, (a) hint, suggestion, possibly alteration of nikking, from nikken, to mark a text for correction, from nik, notch, tally, perhaps from variant of Old French niche, niche. See niche.]
ok.. its almost 1:40 in the morning and i'm finally getting tired.. thinking of walking home, as i'm at jason's house.. been working on this site a little bit today (as you can tell from the "transition" title).. this isn't how the site will look at all- just felt like changing some stuff in the meantime until issue 7 in a couple weeks. the photo gallery is coming along nicely, and i'll have a bunch of different subsections.. enough talk about that. anyway- new site coming soon, so sit tight. i'm working on it.
what else? my eyes are blurry.. i've been sitting here on the floor for what seems like forever. i have rehearsal tomorrow for the first time in weeks.. can't wait to play and space out. i don't know what to type about anymore it seems, my life isn't as interesting when i'm back in brooklyn. i can tell you about all the phone calls i made today, all the work i've done, but it doesn't matter.. i'd rather tell you how i'm feeling. and thats pretty confused lately. i don't know what i need anymore.. i know what i crave, but is that something temporary? to be satisfied quickly? i prefer the long, drawn out process towards satisfying my needs.. and i always seem to take the longest route. thats whats on my mind. 2002 has been different already- in my energy, my feelings and my desires. i'm going to go home and think about it and look at my new virgin de guadalupe candles. then sleep.. then we start again. oh yeah- if you're around, i'm djing thursday for my birthday at oxygen. drinkland 10th st. btwn a+b. tell everyone. goodnight.
current mood: blurry
current music: sade- live from san diego
sitting cross legged "indian style" as they called it back in kindergarten in 1979 in front of my brother's new couch.. pretty slick. the sun is shining brightly through the window and i am having a cup of tea.. i need to get motivated to accomplish everything i set out to do this week. i can't fin. this is my last week as a 27 year old, before my body regenerates and turns into the next phase of my lifetime.. i have a lot of bigger projects coming up, including get our new records off to press soon. i have to go to philadelphia to take some photos this wednesday.. i hope the sky remains this clear.. the sun is on my side. i have been thinking about where i was last year, and how much better things are this year. mentally, physically, emotionally. how much last year took out of me, and how 2002 is not going to beat me up. i'm way ahead. random thoughts... organization. this was a long year.. feb 9th is my birthday. send me a card. lovejoelt
current mood: mondays.. blah
current music:radiohead- climbing the walls fila brazilia mix
oh yeah- the new site will be up next week. i know the main screen reads 2001, but i'm still writing in this! just switching over the look, and adding some features to make your stay more interesting. what day will i do this?
just got mega stoned and watched lord of the rings at my friend patt's house. his dog, tilly, (matilda), was all over me and i had to tickle her tummy until she fell asleep.. his girlfriend fell asleep before any of us, and 2.5 hours into the film he had a quick snooze on the couch as well.. i was into it- i think the dank helped my attention.. anyway, spectacular.. can't wait for the next one and will definitely re-read the books from 4th grade english.. anyway, decided to walk home against my better judgement.. its only 6 blocks or so, but the wind chill was so high it was below freezing.. and i was just wearing a carhartt glorified wind breaker. so my cheeks are bright red and my ears are scorching trying to heat themselves up. did nothing today but revamp our drum n bass label, soundgizmo's website: current mood: spaced i just put on channel 13 its hilarious.. old drug propaganda films from the early 80's with testimonies of "freak outs" on LSD and shrooms and also covers narcotic pain killers, diet pills, amphetamines, and other things.. the testimonies are great.. really convincing. everyone seems like a robot "i totally freaked out. people became monsters. i was never that scared in my life" .. yeah, who hasn't seen that shit? but i'd tell the story a little more convincing if the t-v camera were on me! yup! so now i hear mad tv in the background as i type this.. 2:39 am.. latest i have been up since i returned on tuesday.. whats it wednesday? jeez.. seems like i've been back a while! guess its all the getting up early, going to bed at an early hour, etc.. but tonight was the last night of our 4 month run at halcyon with our party 'get with the program'.. tonight just nick and i tag-teamed some house for 2 hours and then i played a really blissed out atmospheric inteli drum n bass set.. got it on groovetech.com/halcyon archives for posterity. started a new party called 'deprogrammé' the last friday of every month at openair- cool little spot on st. mark's place in the east village with a really great soundsystem and strange zen vibe about the venue.. it's going to be good. anyway- i'll talk about that more some other time.. right now theres bowls to be smoked and books to be read... i mean, this shit's not going to appreciate itself, right? oh yeah happy february. word. keep sending the words i love to read. current mood: dip my toe in the jacuzzi baby
current music: verve- no come down.: words: Joel Jordan 2/2/2002 02:36:38 AM
current music: slowdive- just for a day.: words: Joel Jordan 2/1/2002 02:43:20 AM
