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this shit sounds interesting.
current mood: waiting, looking at my bed..
current music: the irresistible force- global chillage
wow. 3000+ hits finally.. a milestone.. well, not really.. 5800+ hits will be a milestone.. duh.. anyway i feel like i have readers finally. anyway, the new site is coming along nicely- and i'll have this interesting photo section with like concepts and shit.. and then another section with photos from my various trips (they're worth seeing).. umm. what else. i have accomplished so much today .. i usually get up at like 11.. this early morning stuff is kinda cool- i achieved alot before the normal hours. so i guess i can start resting earlier.. is this how it works? i usually get most of my work done between 1-5am.. but i don't possibly see how i can stay up past midnight tonight.. jet lag.. at least it worked in my favor this way around.
current mood: shiny, thats right, shiny.
current music: sade- lovers rock
back in brooklyn.. woke up in holland, fell asleep in park slope.. i haven't been to bed that early est in so long- 11pm? wtf? but it was like 5am in my mind, plus travelling all day took alot out of me.. i actually am on a normal schedule right now. i voluntarily got up at 7:30am today. unbelievable.. whats even more astonishing is i haven't fallen back asleep yet.. wondering when that'll happen.. haha. anyway- gotta get to work. i've been away for 2 weeks and shit's piled up on the shit pile! haha
peace
current mood: sleepy eyed, shower-ready, go-getter
current music: saves the day- holly hox forget me not
you can hear your heart break slowly... in amsterdam... i walked around all day with jason and brian and zoe.. looked for sneakers again, to now avail. just walked around really.. got stoned around 4:30 in a coffee shop called the dolphins or something.. then jason and i went and played pinball.. it was a hard day, really.. also, somewhere in there i bought a new suitcase (samsonite) - its bad ass.. grey and orange and all techy looking.. i just need some new sneakers and some casual pants and i'll be set for the winter.. and maybe a jacket of some kind. that'll do.. then i can get back to sinking the rest of my money into making my crib the proper place to set myself.. i need the right carpet, then coffee table.. or the other way around (either way will be fine) .. then get the studio set up sometime this month.. then i'll be rocking by spring time.. have to remind myself to call my cleaning lady this week. . i need the place clean as shit, and she'll do my dishes as well.. crazy.. i need a fruitbasket, a chopping block, and a knife set.. that'll do.. i can picture my ideal kitchen. i'm just spacing out.. i am excited to get home.. tuesday afternoon. i'll be getting on a plane when you're just getting up.
current mood: airplanes? is that how we fly?
current music: u2- walk on
megastoned in amsterdam.. woke up super late since i was drinking absinthe last night and then walked all around town and went to do some shopping.. the weather was great today and kinda sunny-ish, so we were in a good mood.. i got a pair of carhartt jeans and a nice jacket.. and some other shit.. looking for sneakers, but apparently holland isn't the place to be for them, and i know that my next trip to london or japan will prove more likely to yield what i'm looking for.. brian and jason and i went to a place called the greenhouse effect and rolled a few and had some cappucinos and some beers and eventually made it to a bus as it started to rain.. and got back to the jordaan area of town (northwest) via this crazy bus ride.. i thought it was fun, cause i was sitting backwards.. then we split up. jason and i went for dinner tonight at this other indian restaurant we wanted to check out- wasnt as good as the other place, but still commendable.. and before that we smoked some beautiful hash in a small coffee shop around the corner from where we're staying.. then hit a grocery store for some necessities and came back here.. i fell asleep watching tv and came down here to have some tea.. noone is writing me any email. i feel left out! anyway- looking forward to being home in a few days. hopefully the trip home will be quicker than the one here.. i feel like i've been away for so long because i was away for a month before this trip, then home for about 5 days then away for 2 on this one.. so i haven't spent any time setting up my house how i really want it.. by the way, this is one of the last weeks as a 27 year old.. i have to do some really great shit before my body regenerates.
current mood: cool
current music: gigi d'agostino - cheeseball trance anthem video on tv every 5 minutes
ok.. today was interesting.. ending much the same way as last night- around 4 with a cup of tea, and a bowl this time.. of hash. anyway woke up, walked around in the rain .. found wagamama (my favorite british new asianesque noodle chain place) - they happen to have one in amsterdam. .so we found it.. and then walked around looking for shoes.. spotted the pair i want- i'm going back tomorrow. . ok. then what.. umm, came back home because we were sopping wet.. lied down, puffed out, watched tv, took a nap.. we bought some wicked australian chocolates today .. all amazing at this place, creatively enough named australia.. they make their own natural ice cream too but i didn't check that out.. the chocolates were the shit of course.. anyway, went into sugar shock and got wired on a cappucino and then walked around until we felt hungy.. had some pizza and penne for dinner and then some drinks at a place called stereo sushi.. then we went to a bar called "absinthe".. guess what we were drinking.. anyway- 3 shots later i feel slightly weirder, but i'm also like 10 bowls later as well.. the music was good.. weird kids hanging out in this tiny "private" club.. the guy was weird about letting us in for about 30 seconds.. brian straightened him out and assured him that we're there all the time.. the place was like a little cavernous joint.. we had some drinks and hung there until coming back here recently.. having tea, some hash, and typing this towards you and everyone else. wondering whats out there, and when i get back when and where is the next place that's pulling me?
current mood: hazy hashy 4:00amsterdam
current music: sitar, interesting beats in the background, i wonder what this shit is?
have been so excited to write in this thing.. i just rolled my third joint of the evening, filter and everything.. been walking around in the rain all night and ended up at an incredible indian restaurant- i mean, i've had curries from bangkok to vermont and this was pretty damn close to perfect.. just what i needed after a week of shitty french food and pizza-living.. the freezing rain reminds me of the last time i was here in amsterdam on tour with my old band, rain still falls in nov 1996.. we hit here during the cannibis cup so we were pretty psyched, as i am now.. got some great black and blonde hash that crumbles like cookies and is absolutely fantastic.. the place we're staying is a sweet bed and breakfast all decked out with buddhist treasures, candlesticks, excellent lighting, terrific soundsystem, and a high speed connection.. we're psyched.. i just smoked up and watched cnn for like an hour and forgot where i was.. totally zoned out and completely forgot.. i was like "oh yeah, i'm in holland" as i looked outside at the pub across the corner.. its like on a little side street and is absolutely so cozy and wonderful. my friend brian's aunt owns this house.. i feel at home here.. i just rolled another.. its going to be a lazy day tomorrow.. tonight we just wandered around getting rained on and then sat in a cafe playing excellent reggae, although it wasn't a cheeseball place- really fucking cool actually. smoked and had cappucinos and tea and beer .. in that order.. and walked back here.. i'm craving frites mit sate sauce.. tomorrow will be here soon! glad to be here and not there.. began the day in sunny south france and ended it in freezing rain amsterdam.. but its so much sexier here. and i'm in stoners paradise.. having a cup of breathe easy tea before the next one.. jason's made toast.. and tea.. man i'm psyched.. and we have the lights down low and are listening to this excellent cd of tribal jazz.. really great shit.. wish you could see it. anyway.. tomorrow- going to the van gough museum, checking out the anne franke house (i haven't done any of this shit the number of other times i have been here- i've always been on tour with my band and never had time!) plus it interests me.. anyway, then going to my favorite english noodleshop that just happens to have a location here, wagama (means selfish in japanese btw) which i think is the fucking jam.. psyched about that.. then we'll go see some live fucking, hahaha. umm .. something cultural i'm sure. then cafes and we might hit a small vibey club tomorrow night. not much going on- drum n bass party tonight but i don't feel like going.. besides, it seems last week was the time to be here as usual suspects played then.. tonight its noone i've heard of at mazzo.. anyway, is vridag and i'm really happy to be here.. looking forward to coming home and then calculating how long it'll be before i can leave brooklyn! i want to move. . somewhere cool.. and live a different life dedicated to intrigue and writing short novels.. pure shit. like burrough-esque rants that run nowhere.. and have a million characters.. had a really strange dream last night, as i was completely assed out from the night before - djing and what not. had this half-sleep thing going on till like 5am then i fell asleep till 11am.. then the airport, flew klm royal dutch airlines to this bitch and here i am.. stoned, eating excellent raspberry jam toast and having a cup of tea.. i think i'm in love with this moment.. anyway. 2am and i'll try to go to sleep.. or watch the world pass by on skynews..
current mood: shit eating grin
current music: led zeppelin- all of my love
its 1:07am and i'm barely going to be able to sleep. weird dreams in france.. this weed is terrible. outta hash, going to holland tomorrow so i'm really not concerned ;) anyway.. i'm working on my new website with all new features.. some featured mp3's, some actual mixes, some all new photography in separate folders- including concepts, art pieces and just snapshots.. new interface. i don't know.. this is becoming a project more and more every issue.. i thought i would do this shit a long time ago, but other things are more important.. as long as someone is reading this it gives me a somewhat hobby.. not that i don't enough shit to do.. some big design projects coming up, more band rehearsals, more dj gigs, more of everything coming up.. plus gotta get my records together for the next round of releases.. first ones due out in june its looking like now. have many projects on the table.. want to get my studio in my home finished and set up.. i'll be doing that when i get back on tuesday. i'm actually looking forward to being in brooklyn. the weather is obviously worse than it is here on the french riviera, but i reckon it'll be more like new york in amsterdam.. new york was once new amsterdam .. yeah yeah.. anyway, i'm rambling. . the new site'll be up sometime before the end of the month- its gonna be cool. i need to find some time to finish .. anyway, nothing to do right now except finish what i started. goodnight. tuck me in up to my ears, and so that i can't move..
current mood: bad weed=bad high
current music: chemical brothers- star guitar
p.s. french tv is fucking terrible.
i woke up and not only am i still in france, but it's not even friday yet.. going to netherlands on friday.. the party last night was excellent- dj'd really well despite the lack of a monitor and met a lot of important people i'll be working with over the next few years.. ate some pot cookies- didn't realize how fucked up i was until i left the party.. got some pizza afterwards and some more un-needed drinks.. its absolutely gorgeous right now.. the sun is shining high above the mediterranean and jason and i, although slightly hung over, are going to drive up the hills and enjoy the sunshine.. can't seem to locate other people, as the conference ended yesterday and tons of people split town right away (i don't blame them- not much to do here).. anyway, i'm squinting my eyes hurt so much.. took a bath to try and feel better, now i'm hoping sunshine and some breakfast of some sorts will make me feel straight. i gotta charge up the camera- i want to take some photos.. going home on tuesday, can't wait. although this last leg of the trip is purely for relaxing- and i hope we get to do some of that.. i just want to do nothing for a while.. lie in bed and shit. perhaps when i get home i'll spend wed, thur, and fri doing just that.. but i doubt it- my schedule never allows. anyway, i'm in the mood for crepes. thats my mission.
ok- got back from my walk, went to a beautiful church overlooking cannes.. took some great photos, got some ravioli (crepes tomorrow), and just cleaned my bowl and watching the uk top 20 countdown on mtv italy.. i'm exhausted. going to bed shortly and its only like 9 or something.. off to holland tomorrow. watch out.
current mood: sleepy
current music: nelly furtado- remember the days
bon jour. cote d'azur coming atcha. i'm writing this offline, cause apparently 4 star hotels in france decide to charge you for every little thing.. like, for instance- a 3 minute call is like 5 euros and and each additional minute is like 50 euro cents.. it doesn't say it anywhere on the literature, but i called and asked the front desk .. fucking rip off artists.. haha. anyway, had a nice end of the day- went to see fauna flash dj and they played some really great interesting house and house with breaks and deep deep bass lines.. it was soothing.. i was sitting on the ground, and i think the hash coupled with a couple beers made me relax a little and i fell asleep on the floor with my jacket behind my head in the corner.. with jason and nick sitting next to me.. we came back to the hotel room and just spent the last 4 hours hanging out with some business partners and entertaining- had wine, brie, and made a general mess.. we messed up the coffee table so much brian and i pulled the whole table out into the hallway and left it.. hehehe.. jasons yelling at me about it now.. thinks we're going to have a lost table on our hands.. i think its pretty safe in the hallway at 2:30am .. besides, we're paying enough here that we should be able to stick a table in the hallway. jesus. anyway- gotta get up tomorrow and rock on.. walking around the conference floor and making a few stop ins on some various companies. need to make an impression so i feel like i accomplished something coming here.. barcelona was lovely, this week is kinda a void somewhat, and then friday i go to amsterdam.. looking forward to that, but longing to go home and sit on my bed and look at the ceiling.. i was away for 3 weeks for the holidays then going to new mexico.. then back home for a week and now away again for 2 weeks.. one of the weeks is already up.. i think? no its not.. jeez.. we got here thursday.. its monday. man. it seems like we've been here longer than that. anyway- i prefer spain, just so you all know.. someone's gotta send me a love letter.. i'm feeling tired and drawn out.. i want to go home already! djing wed- that should be fun. looking forward to that. a little party here in cannes.. nothing big. anyway, nothing else to report- had thai for dinner.. that was alright.. ummm.. yeah, just been sitting around smoking for the last 5 hours and eating nutella and bread..
current mood: tired..
current music: kylie minogue- can't get you out of my head
having fun in the french riviera.. drove up from spain last night.. the vibe is excellent here.. the sun is setting over my shoulder ..as i type this i can see the mediterranean sea in my mirror. its cool.. the hash is excellent.. going to see fauna flash and the hacker dj tonight. should be fun enough.. smoking a bowl and getting ready for a meeting. the air is full of the maritime vibe.. loving the water view and the good times with the friends i've seen here.. lots of things happening for us, i'll elaborate more some other time, but things are good here at midem 2002.. this convention is overwhelming when you realize the scope of the music industry globally.. and your part in it in particularly.. also thinking of these lyrics and of something..
the time i would spend with pictures i would not send
i watched you go from left to right
i followed you all night across my blinds
making my peace
making it with distance
maybe thats a big mistake
you know i'm thinking of you
i miss you
you'll change your mind come monday and
turn your back on me
take your steps away with hesitance
take your steps away from me
current mood: wondering, waiting, defensive
current music: jimmy eat world- cautioners
i had an interesting day to say the least.. woke up pretty early, considering we were crazy jet lagged and blinked into the sunlight over the rooftops of barcelona.. then realized i was running late.. made it on time amazingly to a meeting with the multimedia cats, sonar over at their next to impossible to find office.. anyway- the point- we're now intending on working with them for an event during their festival in june.. should be a lot of work and a lot of fun.. besides, it's a great excuse to come back to barcelona.. meeting went well, got lost trying to find the place (as usual) .. driving around here is probably the most confusing and dangerous thing.. everyone zips in and out of each other and the streets are all so busy.. so we then drove down by the beach and went up to this strange graveyard built on a hill .. strange how people encrypt each other in these elaborate stone monuments of death.. it was really creepy.. the whole mountain was filled with bodies essentially, as the crypts were cut into the stone of the hillside.. it went all the way up.. i got tired of being in this really macabre setting so we drove up another mountain to see this castle.. it was WAY up.. there were cable cars that went up the side but that was shut off.. like i would've gotten on it or something.. yeah right.. anyway, got to the top and it was like at least a mile high- really crazy elevation.. you could see the entire city and over the mediterranean sea.. it was dizzying being up that high but really exhilerating.. it seemed like we were standing on a cliff side. we drove down then smoked a bowl in front of the olympic stadium and got coffees.. then drove back into town, walked around the gothic area and went to the big gothic church there.. not la sagrada familia but the other one in the gothic barrio.. we lit a big votive candle for mike under the virgin mary and checked out the beautiful altars surrounding the entire circumference. all dedicated and featuring various saints' images from 16-18th century. spent a while in there actually. then we got some falafel and headed back to the hotel. jason let me drive and i freaked him out.. i forgot about stick shifts. i'll get the hang of it! so then came back to the hotel, had a soak in the tub and then went to try and find this gallery, metronome to see this art/music installation of some abstract beats and visuals.. it was over when we finally found it - we walked around for like half an hour spaced out in the alley ways near the mercado. we hooked up with a friend of a friend and he introduced us to his friends and we all got along really well pretty quickly.. ended up at a cheap dominican bar where this guy got in a fight with some other guys and they threw rocks at him. it was freaky. seems like every time i'm in europe i always see the "drunk guy fight".. anyway, on with the story.. we had our friend put us on the guestlist at this club john acquaviva was playing at, but ended up thinking we were going to check out funky porcini instead at this other place, lolita.. we ended up, instead, walking with the whole group over to this 2 level lounge/club called "spic" (no shit!) .. and we had many beers and much conversation.. got loud till the wee hours of the morning and watched the sun come up over a sleeping barcelona.. today i've spent most of it sleeping, watching terrible television, reading, and taking some photos.. took a small stroll with jason this evening around 10ish and got some pretty great thai food. wow.. its 1:20am on a saturday night and i'm in my hotel room.. i should be out getting loud and practicing my spanish (its gotten so much better in the last 2 days).. maybe someday i'll get a lot better.. but i've started studying my japanese again, and hopefully i'll get my skill back.. renshu ga nai kara boku wa jozu ja nai yo.. i'm going to get hit my hash pipe drink some tea, look out the window, and wonder if you really mean what you mean.
current mood: pensive
current music: billie holiday- love me or leave me (give that one a listen)
always forget how gorgeous barcelona is.. and vibey.. the girls here are so well dressed and they're all gorgeous. . i think.. maybe i've only been noticing the cute ones. . but there's lots.. besides the girls the hash is excellent. within the first 10 minutes of my search i hooked up.. i think i'm like a magnet for meeting the right people. hahaha. we landed at about 2:30am in madrid, sat on the plane and then took off again arriving in barcelona around 3:30am.. we were so exhausted from bloody mary's and klonopin that we had cafe grandes para llevar and got our rental car.. jammed out to mc conrad and ltj on the way into town.. completely exhausted. got to the hotel with very little trouble (last year, we found our hotel in the middle of the night after a 2 hour block by block search).. amazing how well our memories serve us- we easily navigated the city like we've been here all the time or something. anyway, we got in, had them park the car (they kiss your ass here- its a 4 star hotel and we're in one of the only 2 suites so they think we're all rich and shit) .. and got in bed around 11:30 am here, 5:30 am .. literally fucking passed out for 7 hours, had the television wake us up at 7:00pm, 1:00pm est and we are totally assed out.. i took a bath in the lovely lovely bathtub here and listened to my new favourite disc- music for zen meditation. it makes me pass out. well, we then went out driving around town, got hash, got dinner at this great indian krsna restaurant called govinda that we remembered liking on our last trip here. we cruised around and puffed out and finished listening to that lovely progression sessions disc .. now we're back in the hotel room, hoping we can smoke ourselves stupid enough to fall asleep since our brains think its 7:30pm right now. we have a meeting with sonar tomorrow.. should be excellent .. we're hoping to do a large event during sonar festival this june.. and i think i'm going to get a flat here for the entire month i love it so much. . and just fucking chill and smoke hash and write a novel.. looking out over the spanish morning with my toast and shit. i can picture it now.. must be excellent here in june, cause in january its pretty damn good. anyway. back to my new pipe.
current mood: sleepy, but not quite sleepy enough
current music: music for zen meditation
i'll be in spain in fourteen hours. wonder if you'll think about me.
current mood: gotsta go
current music: vanessa daou- zipless
life, death, loss, gain, gravity.
current mood: still dreamy
current music: music for zen meditation
feeling better.. just exhausted and hung over from matt's birthday party at odessa last night.. apparently i drank a few crown and gingers.. jason and i spun at open air last night- pretty eclectic set .. from seven seconds to nasty booty house and all stops in between.. i'm so out of it right now i feel like i'm about to fall asleep.. i always get this way when i'm a bit hungover. something to wake up.. caffeine.. yes.. djing tonight as well. hope i make it. i'll have espresso martinis or something.. can't type any more, i'm feeling the nap thing.
current mood: dreamy
current music: mc conrad/ltj bukem progression sessions 6
so pick up billboard magazine today.. 1/11/02 nice little article on mike and his life.
matt: hey
Earthprgrm: happy birthday
matt: thanks
matt: i read billboard
matt: 1/3 of the page
matt: are you there?
Earthprgrm: oh yeah?
Earthprgrm: i gotta go pick it up.
matt: i have one copy
matt: ill try to get more
Earthprgrm: i am going to barnes and nobles
matt: can i ask you something?
matt: how are you handling all this?
Earthprgrm: sorry?
Earthprgrm: umm. i don't know.
Earthprgrm: i did all the grieving i can do.. i can just only try and live on and make mike proud..
Earthprgrm: i am sure he wouldn't want to see me broken up for weeks. we cried and cried and cried all we could in new mexico.. besides, he's in the best band in the universe now
matt: the first choir of angels
Earthprgrm: hehehe. yeah.. jeff buckley, george harrison, john lennon, elvis, kurt cobaine, and mike..
matt: on vibraphones
Earthprgrm: yes
Earthprgrm: jamming on the one
current mood: smiling
current music: oasis- champagne supernova
how many special people change
how many lives are living strange
where were you while we were getting high?
slowly walking down the hall
faster than a cannonball
where were you while we were getting high?
someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide
in a champagne supernova in the sky
wake up the dawn and ask her why
a dreamer dreams she never dies
wipe that tear away now from your eye
slowly walking down the hall
faster than a cannonball
where were you while we were getting high?
someday you will find me caught beneath the landslide
in a champagne supernova in the sky
cause people believe that they're gonna get away for the summer
but you and i, we live and die,
the worlds still spinning round
we don't know why
why why why
how many special people change
how many lives are living strange
where were you while we were getting high?
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wtf?
looking out the door i see the rain fall upon the funeral mourners
parading in a wake of sad relations as their shoes fill up with water
and maybe i'm too young to keep good love from going wrong
but tonight you're on my mind so you never know
broken down and hungry for your love with no way to feed it
where are you tonight, child you know how much i need it
too young to hold on and too old to break free and run
sometimes a man gets carried away, when he feels like he should be having his fun
and much too blind to see the damage he's done
sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-one
so i'll wait for you...and i'll burn
will i ever see your sweet return
oh will i ever learn
oh lover, you should've come over
'cause it's not too late
lonely is the room, the bed is made, the open window lets the rain in
burning in the corner is the only one who dreams he had you with him
my body turns and yearns for a sleep that won't ever come
it's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
it's never over, all my riches for her smiles when i slept so soft against her
it's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
it's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever
well maybe i'm just too young
to keep good love from going wrong
oh...lover, you should've come over
'cause it's not too late
well i feel too young to hold on
and i'm much too old to break free and run
too deaf, dumb, and blind to see the damage i've done
sweet lover, you should've come over
oh, love well i'm waiting for you
lover, you should've come over
cause it's not too late
-"Lover,You Should've Come Over" J. Buckley
jason and i spent our last day here in new mexico driving around- the volcanoes, the petroglyphs, old town albuquerque.. there's really not much to do around here.. it was absolutely gorgeous.. so, i hear it's raining in new york- i'm longing to get back there.. as i have so much shit to do and so much shit to take care of before our 2 week trip to europe.. spain, france, netherlands.. i got some dj gigs- check the schedule if you're going to happen to be in any of those countries in the next 2 weeks :) i have to get my house organized.. then i can leave and feel all set. unfinished projects annoy the hell out of me. anyway- yesterday jason, nick, cathy, maria, roree, ella and i drove about an hour and a half north into the mountains and went to this out of the way hot spring on the side of a mountain.. it was a serious hike up some terrain, but well worth the treck.. we sat in the hot springs for an hour, smoked a joint at 4:20 while the sun was setting over the mountain and talked about mike (well jason, nick and i did at least).. then went to a killer indian restaurant in santa fe and came back here.. jason and i are patiently waiting in our hotel room right now hoping the sun doesn't set (its unbelievably gorgeous- strands of red, purple, yellow, blue- its all in there) .. i have taken some amazing photos. . on the next version of this site- which i'm planning on getting up and going before i split for europe will have separate folders of different journeys so you can see how the photography tells the story .. and so i can organize my shots better and share them more easily online.. and a buncha other features will be added, cause apparently i'm getting a little traffic here.. a little, albeit, but some.. the simpsons comes on at 7 out here.. no waiting till 8 for me! anyway. i wrote a letter to mike to be read at his memorial where his ashes will be scattered.. which is the place where we went for our soak.. i got choked up writing it and the head ache has finally gone away. now i'll lie down and think about some other things..
current mood: better
current music: kylie minogue- can't get you outta my head
we are going to hike up into the woods an hour north to these unattended natural geothermal hot springs that are pools of water in the middle of the woods ... its where mike's ashes will be scattered wednesday - but we will be gone already .. so we are going to take a dip instead and think ..
current mood: not sure
current music: lee scratch perry vs. thievery corporation
i haven't had a thought sorted out enough to type here. its been a few days.. we got to new mexico on wednesday night, mike had already passed away earlier in the afternoon. grief has been the most confusing emotion. i'll miss mike and his beacon of gidiness in a world that was all too heavy. thimus thumps. i'm here till monday. mike's one year old daughter, ella, is so beautiful.. i was overjoyed watching jason noodle around on the piano last night with ella on his lap smacking the keyboard joyfully.. and nick and roree each had a dance with her. beautiful moments. albuquerque is a nice enough city, i dj'd out here in june but didn't get to see much of this town as i was in santa fe most of the time. tomorrow afternoon we're going an hour away to a hot spring in the middle of a state park/forest in the middle of nowhere to see where mike's ashes will be scattered in a ceremony on wednesday. mike loved the place and i want to soak in the water and smoke a big one and think about his life and what he meant to me. and how to be a better person, of course.
current mood: looking up and out
current music: cocteau twins- heaven or las vegas
what i fell asleep to last night.
oh yeah, i woke up very early this morning, took a bath and smoked a joint .. and thats been the pace of my day. love.
